Give 'em Hell, Kid
by Annjirika
Summary: You'd think Riku would know better than to steal one of Yuffie's fries...right? [Yuriku[one-shot]


_A/N: Mild language. Mild um…imagery. Mild Yuriku. Mild randomness._

_Disclaimer: It's not mine. Well, the story is, but the characters and places aren't. Grape soda isn't mine either. Which is good because I wouldn't have invented it in the first place and the world would be grape sodaless. Count your blessings eh? _

_z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z_

_**He's the new guy.**_

I love fries.

Fries are the best invention ever. The long, crispy, golden ones are the best. I hate the wimpy, browned mini-fries. It has to stand up on it's own, or I push it off to the side and let Leon eat it. He always did go for the wimpy things (coughcoughRinoacoughcough) He's like a puppy. He'll eat anything and everything, including my scraps. I'm a picky eater. I'm a picky everything. Only the best for the Great Ninja Yuffie.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Leon asks, nodding toward the discarded half of my cheeseburger. I push it toward him, still sifting through my potato slivers. I wonder sometimes where he puts it all. He just finished 3 cheeseburgers and a large order of fries and he's still hungry? It's all that training. I swear, it's gonna kill him one day.

I tell him, "You're gonna fall over and die of a heart attack if you keep eating all that fat and grease and then go train like you do."

"You eat just as much junk as I do."

"That's not the point."

"Hmm." He doesn't argue. That drives me insane. I want to argue. I need someone to verbally fight with. I can whip Leon's butt with my ninja stars (Cloud – I'm still workin' on beating him. He's hard to fight, darn it!) and Aerith rarely even raises her voice.

_**The one with the silver hair.**_

So the door opens. And I'm just sitting there having lunch with Leon, minding my own business. I'm separating the weak fries from the firm ones. I happen to glance up over Leon's shoulder and I see this guy walk in.

And he's really hot.

And since hot guys are at an all-time low around here I can't help but stare.

_**The one with the green eyes.**_

I figure he's new because I've never seen him before – and I've seen everybody. I'm a ninja. I professionally creep around and spy on _everyone_. I've heard and seen some secrets that could ruin entire families.

Good thing I'm an expert blackmailer.

_**The one that wears black all the time but doesn't pretend to be gothic.**_

He has this walk, I notice. A sort of swagger, coming down on his left foot harder than the right and his arms are all cocked out like he's airing out his armpits. He looks silly. It must be his 'confident' walk. It must make him feel superior. Like he thinks he's better than I am.

Hmph. Arrogant bastard.

He looks kinda out-of-the-closet to me. I mean, what straight guy has hair that perfectly feathered? What straight man has a face like that of a god and isn't gay or married? Show me a straight guy that wears black and actually looks _that_ sexy in it.

I glance at Leon, the light bulb in my head clicking on.

"What." He grumbles, shoveling the last of the cheeseburger.

"Oh nothing."

_**He's the one that doesn't talk to anyone.**_

He passes by without even seeing me. That's fine. I won't see him either.

I decide I'll just continue my fry separating activities and forget all about arrogantbastard. That's it. "So Leon, how has your day been?" I ask, my voice a little louder than I actually intended.

Leon glances at me, quirking an eyebrow. "Fine." He replies.

I make a face at him. He always acts like I never try to make conversation with him. He likes to act like he's such a victim. I love him anyway. He's my best friend. Is that sad? My best friend is like, ten years older than I am. All my friends are older than I am.

Hmm.

_**He's the one that never smiles, only smirks.**_

I have wandering eye syndrome I think. They look just exactly where I don't want them to look. Like a few weeks ago, I walked in on Leon as he was undressing. I didn't _want_ to look because I knew it would probably scar me for life and our relationship would become awkward. But I looked anyway.

I'm not allowed to go into detail. Leon threatened to kill me if I even _thought_ about the incident. Or if I even thought about _it_.

Let's just say, Leon has a nice tattoo. And there's plenty of room for another.

I notice he's glaring at me. I can feel myself grinning. I avoid his accusing stare by looking at the counter. Arrogantbastard is ordering a drink. He's got the cashier swooning about like the pathetic twelve-year-old she is. I scowl.

"Yuffie. _Yuffie_." Leon is saying my name.

I only glance at him. "What?" I snap in true Leon-fashion. Arrogantbastard turns around, leaning against the counter, and skims the Café. His eyes join mine. He sees me watching him and smirks, winking. I roll my eyes and look at Leon. "What is it, Leon?" I ask, much nicer.

Leon spares a glimpse at arrogantbastard and raises the eyebrow again. "Never mind." He says, his lips twitching. He wants to smile, but he won't because he's a tough guy and tough guys don't like to smile.

Leon's an arrogant bastard too. I'm going to start calling him Arrogantbastard2.

This way they can wear their sexy leather and be gay together.

**_He's the one with the big secret past_**.

Arrogantbastard gets his drink (it's grape soda – EW) and he heads back toward the door. I'm busy dumping the scrawny fries on arrogantbastard2's side of the table. I'm so busy doing this that I don't notice arrogantbastard stop at my table.

I see him snatch a fry out of the corner of my eye. And not just any fry. The crispiest, crunchiest, goldeniest fry of them all. I feel my jaw drop and I look up just in time to see him shove it into his mouth.

I huff and look at arrogantbastard2 for help, expecting him to take over and smash the guy's face in. But no, he's pouring over the menu that he never reads, totally engrossed in the appetizers. I look back to arrogantbastard.

Of all the evil, rash, cruel, overconfident, prick-like people I've ever met…

This guy takes the gold.

_**He's the enigma.**_

Arrogantbastard grins, winks again, and saunters out the front door. I have been duped. I have been outwitted. He has stolen my best fry and I let him. I should've jumped him. I should've yelled at him. I should've lit him on fire. And yet, I can't help but laugh to myself.

He's good, I'll give him that.

But I'm better. So much better.

He wants war? I can give him war. "Thanks for lunch Ar-I mean, Leon. I'll pay you back later-" I say, grabbing my scarf from the windowsill and draping it around my neck.

"Where are you going?"

"I got me a score to settle and blackmail to find." I declare. Leon sighs at me. I ruffle his hair as I walk by. He hates it when I do that. Obviously, I do it as often as possible.

"You'll probably want to know his name is Riku." He says just before I'm out of earshot.

I hesitate. "_The_ Riku?" I ask. Leon nods. I've heard of this guy. He went all possessed on us during the Heartless episode and tried to kill his friends. I grin. Even better. I can call on Sora as an ally. "Thanks."

"Oh and Yuffie-" Leon twists in his chair to look at me. I growl impatiently and stare at him again. He half-smiles. "Go easy on him."

_**And I'm gonna figure him out.**_

THE END 


End file.
